09-18-2006, 07:06 PM | #1 |
Halfelven Daughter of the Dunedain, President of Entmoot
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The Matchmaker's Lover
I have now brought many loves together
I never thought I would ever find mine I want someone to love me forever I just have to give it a little time Is it just my wild imagination Or is it an act of magic or Fate? Will it end in my poor devastation? Oh please let him be my loving true mate Be still, fair heart, you must not flutter so He is standing outside waiting for me He would stand there even in the deep snow He has my heart, I gave to him the key He is the matchmaker's lover, her soul He has my heart that which from me he stole
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09-19-2006, 03:33 AM | #2 |
The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
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That's nice. Although if I go by the flow of the poem the line 'Oh please let him be my loving true mate' sounds a bit too long, but then again, I know nothing of rules of poetry. Still very nice.
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09-21-2006, 01:31 AM | #3 | ||
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The line does fit IMO, since the whole poem is in iambic pentameter, and that line is 10 syllables long.
Great poem!
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09-21-2006, 10:13 AM | #4 |
Halfelven Daughter of the Dunedain, President of Entmoot
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Thank you, guys. It was a poem I wrote for an english assignment.
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"Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. "Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera |
09-22-2006, 07:29 AM | #5 | |
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09-22-2006, 05:27 PM | #6 |
Elf Lord
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nah i prefer 'loving true mate'
blimey it's just like the late show innit? *notes Germaine Greer's late again* |
09-23-2006, 07:47 PM | #7 | ||
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Good point you guys. The natural stress of the word is important in iambic pentameter, since in that style, the stress will be on every second syllable in the line, and it will sound weird if this isn't on the natural stress of the word.
Have you gotten your assignment back yet Acalewia? How'd ya do?
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"I can add some more, if you'd like it. Calling your Chief Names, Wishing to Punch his Pimply Face, and Thinking you Shirriffs look a lot of Tom-fools." - Sam Gamgee, p. 340, Return of the King Quote:
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09-24-2006, 07:03 PM | #8 |
Halfelven Daughter of the Dunedain, President of Entmoot
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Got an A and the teacher used it as an example of how a sonnet should flow. In other words, she liked it.
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"Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. "Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera |
09-26-2006, 05:25 PM | #9 |
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that was great
i did not like the first and second ones but i like the round table but then i love mythology and things like that
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09-27-2006, 05:54 AM | #10 | |
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And I thought of another way to say it "Oh, Please let him be my love and true mate" I know it's your work, but that tiny bit did stand out to me. And anyway, tis only me humble opinion
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09-27-2006, 10:34 AM | #11 | ||
Halfelven Daughter of the Dunedain, President of Entmoot
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Quote:
Quote:
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"Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. "Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera |
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09-27-2006, 06:49 PM | #12 | |
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In the realm of free writing, you don't have to listen to me though. On board the Nal....
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My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies, Fairytales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly - my friends. XK |
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09-27-2006, 08:16 PM | #13 |
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Free writing is, of course, ... encouraged ... **1
.................................................. ...................... **1 The plank is a mighty mind-sharpener ... and shark teeth cuttingly incisive ... (still think the original is best tho' ) |
09-28-2006, 10:25 AM | #14 | |
Halfelven Daughter of the Dunedain, President of Entmoot
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Quote:
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"Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. "Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera |
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