07-15-2004, 05:23 PM | #61 | |
Queen of Nargothrond
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"Whither go you?" she said. "North away." he said: "to the swords, and the siege, and the walls of defence - that yet for a while in Beleriand rivers may run clean, leaves spring, and birds build their nests, ere Night comes." AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide |
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07-19-2004, 10:55 AM | #62 | |
Elven Warrior
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07-19-2004, 11:00 AM | #63 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Apr 2004
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And I'll add one more thing.....if by 18 they are making poor choices and as adults think that they can do what they want, it will only be IF they are not living under your roof.
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07-19-2004, 12:28 PM | #64 | |
Half-Elven Princess of Rabbit Trails and Harp-Wielding Administrator (beware the Rubber Chicken of Doom!)
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Location: Not where I want to be ...
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. I should be doing the laundry, but this is MUCH more fun! Ñá ë?* óú éä ïöü Öñ É Þ ð ß ® ç å ™ æ ♪ ?* "How lovely are Thy dwelling places, O Lord of hosts! ... For a day in Thy courts is better than a thousand outside." (from Psalm 84) * * * God rocks! Entmoot : Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I got hooked! Ego numquam pronunciare mendacium, sed ego sum homo indomitus! Run the earth and watch the sky ... Auta i lómë! Aurë entuluva! |
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07-19-2004, 01:48 PM | #65 | |
Elf Lord
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07-19-2004, 06:08 PM | #66 |
Elven Warrior
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Not to stray totally off the topic here but what does everyone think about " tough love "? Which is usually used on older kids and teens, but then even grown up young adults.
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07-19-2004, 06:29 PM | #67 | |
Spammer of the Happy Thread
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07-19-2004, 06:37 PM | #68 |
Spammer of the Happy Thread
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on this right/wrong issue;
my parents are lutheran (like most finns). at the age of 15 we have confirmation. this means, as you know or hear from the name, that the young person confirms their faith in god. well, i knew i didn't believe in this god, and therefor i didn't want to confirm my faith. my parents didn't let me decide this myself, they said i had to do it. they're not very religious themselves, but it's a tradition here to have the confirmation. i though it was wrong of them to force me to confirm my faith, though i didn't want to. i also think this would be wrong to the church, when people who don't believe are forced into church. maybe wrong thread, but do you have any thoughts? would you've done what my parents did?
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07-19-2004, 08:35 PM | #69 | |
Elven Warrior
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Last edited by QueenAnnesLace : 07-19-2004 at 08:39 PM. |
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07-20-2004, 09:22 AM | #70 |
Advocatus Diaboli
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i guess i follow the 'tough love' idea to an extent... i don't enable bad behavior (i.e. let things go all the time or remove or mitigate a punishment because the child complains too much)
that said, having done drugs and alcohol in my teens, i know all too well that the decision to stop can only be made by the person doing them... and i don't think it helps matters to alienate a child... with all the social and physical changes going on during the teen years, i think some parents expect a bit too much 'rationality' from their teens... they are simply not the same as a 25-plus adult when it comes to making decisions (though girls seem to be a bit better than boys) an example ~ i don't plan to allow my kids to drink alcohol, but i know there is a good chance that sometime between the age of 13-18 they will go to parties and drink, maybe a lot... while i won't condone it, i will not punish them for it unless they drive while under the influence or get in a vehicle with someone who does... no matter what they may do, i want them to always feel comfortable with contacting me when in a bad situation... i would much rather pick them up discreetly at a houseparty at 2am than at a hospital so i'd say 'consistant love' more than 'tough'
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07-20-2004, 10:54 AM | #71 |
Elven Warrior
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Another question.... What does everyone think about those parents that let thier teens have parties with alchohol with the excuse of " I'd rather them be here around me than out doing it somewhere else". It's a hard one to call. #1 I don't want to allow under age drinking but then they are going to do it anyhow. HMMM.. #2 if they are going to have parties allowing under age drinking, shouldn't the other parents of guests at the party have a say? These parents had thier say but then later that night there was a girl that had too much to drink and had to be rushed to the hospital for alchohol poisoning. ( sounds to me that those parents had a little too much themselves).
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07-20-2004, 01:28 PM | #72 |
Quasi Evil
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Well I think its silly to throw keg parties for your teenage kids on the basis that youd rather know where they are when they are getting trashed then have them out doing it who knows where. The bottom line is the adult owners of the house (EVEN if they are NOT aware of the party) can be held legally liable when a kid dies from alcohol poisoning or when a kid drives his car into a tree or something. So bad idea really. And usually this is the sign of lazy parenting. If you are willing to take the risk then fine. I know ive been in that situation before with an old girlfriend of mine who had friends under 21 and who would come over when we had parties. I made them stay the night if they were going to drink. and kept a close eye on them while they were.
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07-20-2004, 05:11 PM | #73 | |
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07-31-2004, 04:05 PM | #74 | |
The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
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If you can use other means to make your child see that it misbehaved and that it shouldn't do it again then you should use those methods. I've heard of some very genious tricks some parents used. But sometimes talking won't solve one bit and sometimes I think a slap or a spanking is necessary. My sister could be very difficult when she was younger and on a few rare occasions when she really went over the line she has received a slap in the face. I believe she turned out for the better with it. But never in anger and never with a belt or a stick. To me that goes too far.
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07-31-2004, 04:14 PM | #75 |
the Shrike
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A slap in the face? On the bum, I could understand, but the face?!
Oh, welcome back smearniel.
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07-31-2004, 06:06 PM | #76 | |
The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
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And thanks, it's good to be back.
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We are not things. Last edited by Earniel : 07-31-2004 at 06:09 PM. |
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