08-11-2002, 02:03 PM | #21 | |
The Rogue Elf
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08-11-2002, 02:03 PM | #22 | |
Elven Warrior
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but wouldn't that just confuse the child as to why they were getting hit ,if sometimes they were and sometimes they weren't ,for doing the same thing?
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08-11-2002, 02:04 PM | #23 | |
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. |
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08-11-2002, 02:10 PM | #24 | |
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You misunderstood me. ( I think ) It's not a matter of the same thing ( or as you seem to imply inconsistency) it's a matter of the severity of the trangression.
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. |
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08-11-2002, 02:24 PM | #25 |
Halfwitted Queen of Lothlorien
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I could be wrong about this this, is just my theory - I think that maybe part of the reason spanking doesn't do anything for some kids is that they were not explained to about why they're being spanked. (If you got all that. )
Lizra, my mother always told me, "Laura, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." No loving parent likes to hurt their kids, but they know that their child needs to be discilplined.
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The beuatiful mind/The beautiful heart/Doesn't deserve the pain/How can I stop the rain? -How Can I Stop the Rain? by Kessid, my new favorite band +Every good thing that comes into my life is only a reflection of the greatest gift of all; the offering of yourself, dear Son of God+ Always remember, you're uniqe, just like everybody else! "The one constant through all the years has been the Trombone. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again, but the Trombone has marked the time. This field, this section, this band is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again. Oh, people will come . . . people will most definitely come." |
08-11-2002, 03:45 PM | #26 |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
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I was hit as a child for serious things - like playing with fire and stuff. I don't think there is anything wrong with hitting a child as long as it's not ovedone. I know I was hit sometimes - maybe even a lot, but I don't remember many episodes. I don't think it had any detrimental affects on me.
My parents may have hit me - but when a friend of theirs did - they stopped talking to them or having anything to do with them. I was 6 years old and I stayed over their house for the weekend while my parents were away. Their daughter for some reason said I was taking her fish out of her fish tank - which I wasn't. The father wouldn't listen to me and completely believed his daughter and hit me in an embarrassing way. I told my parents when they came home and they called them and we never saw them again. No state as far as I know has laws against parents hitting their child. There are laws in a lot of states against teachers hitting students - New Jersey being one. Indiana allows teachers to hit students. My parents had told the schools when we moved there that if any teacher hit my brothers or sister - they'd have a lawsuit on their hands. Some children only respond to being hit, sometimes a child can be so bad that it is necessary. But the only person that should hit a child is the parent. I think the emotional scars that children suffer from parents are far worse than a few smacks. I even got hit with the belt sometimes. It hurt - but it didn't cause me to be violent at all. I've NEVER been in a fight and I've NEVER hurt anyone. I'm sorry - but most kids just think that "time out" is a joke. I had a friend who gave her kids time outs. They were so bad all the time. They'd do crap and just be terrible. Then at night their mother would take them to the movies anyway or something. She'd threaten them that they weren't going - but then they would anyway. I had asked Anita why she still took them to the movies or did whatever when they were so bad and she had said if they didn't behave that they weren't going. She said it was because she had promised and she felt bad if she didn't. They were much better when they were with me. If they were bad - they knew they weren't doing anything that had been planned. The one time I was at the store with them and I was going to take them to Burger King or something. One of them decided that they weren't going to behave in the store. So I told them that we weren't going out to eat if they didn't. The one girl asked why she should be punished because of what her sister did. Which made sense. So when Carmen refused to behave - I took her home and only took her sister out to eat. Carmen was much better behaved after that. A couple of years later I had asked them why they behaved better when they were with me and they said it was because when I said we weren't going to do something if they didn't behave, I meant it. I never gave them time outs - which I think are the most STUPIDEST things in the world - nor did I hit them. And RE - what you describe about what you do to your brothers seems less to do with being hit than what brothers and sisters usually do to each other. It seems pretty normal to me.
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08-11-2002, 03:50 PM | #27 |
Elven Warrior
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sorry to sound stupid and british but what's time out?
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08-11-2002, 03:54 PM | #28 | |
Elf Lord
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My stepbrother, who has never truly been spanked in his life, is far more violent than I am.
I agree with Galadriel88, though. If you are going to spank a child, they need to know what they did wrong before the recieve any kind of punishment, whether it be a spanking, being sent to the corner, and extra chore or a time out (all of these were punishments my parents used on me). Quote:
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08-11-2002, 03:56 PM | #29 | |
Elf Lord
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08-11-2002, 04:00 PM | #30 |
Elven Warrior
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thanks Starr.
that doesn't sound as bad as JD was making out. surely that just gives the child a chance to think about what they've done and to realise that they were wrong, to calm them down a bit.
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08-11-2002, 04:07 PM | #31 | ||
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We didn't get hit for not doing chores. But we had a set of chores every saturday - the ENTIRE house. Each of us had a section to do. Mine was the Kitchen and Living Room I think. We could watch Saturday morning cartoons and then once those were over - we had to clean. Once everything was done - then we could do what ever we wanted and go outside. The same thing with shoveling the drive way - we couldn't play in the snow until the drive way and sidewalk was shoveled. My parents had done things that they did feel bad about. Like the one time we had done something - I can't remember what - my parents wrote up a contract stating what we did and that we wouldn't do it again or something like that. We had to sign it and then they posted it on the refrigerator. My mother had a friend that came over and she went by the refrigerator and read it. After the person left my mother apologised to us and ripped it up and threw it in the garabage. I could tell when the person was reading it that my mother was sorry - but didn't know what to say. My mother just gave me this look.
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Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide Last edited by jerseydevil : 08-11-2002 at 04:27 PM. |
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08-11-2002, 04:09 PM | #32 |
Elven Warrior
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well whatever it makes you think about, it has to be better than being physically hit. i know i'd rather sit in the corner and count minutes then end up with bruises.
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08-11-2002, 04:21 PM | #33 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
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I'm not saying that every child needs to be hit or should be hit. Nor am I saying that hitting should be used in every circumstance. Also - you can hit a child and not give bruises. It just depends how hard you hit. I don't remember ever getting bruises. Maybe I had a red mark for an hour or so - but never any bruises. I think you're thinking of the extreme beatings.
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Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide Last edited by jerseydevil : 08-11-2002 at 04:22 PM. |
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08-11-2002, 04:26 PM | #34 |
Elven Warrior
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they don't have to be extreme to get bruises. sometimes if a parent (particularly a father) lashes out, they don't realise their own stength and can cause bruises whilst only meaning to cause red marks.
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08-11-2002, 04:30 PM | #35 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
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Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide Last edited by jerseydevil : 08-11-2002 at 04:33 PM. |
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08-11-2002, 04:33 PM | #36 | |
Elven Warrior
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08-11-2002, 04:38 PM | #37 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
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Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide |
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08-11-2002, 04:39 PM | #38 |
Halfwitted Queen of Lothlorien
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Ditto to JD. And you know, it's not like spankings were the ONLY punishment I got. I think punishments should be age appropriate - for instance, when I was 1 or 2 I got my hand smacked. When I got a little older i received spankings for more serious things, and I also got timeouts sometimes. Mind you, those only worked when I was about 3 and because I was a very social child, like Starr. but I do remember them. We have this little wooden chair in our living room, and that was the Timeout Chair. I remember once when my Mom told me to do something, and I kept repeating No (which was against the rules), and she sent me to timeout for 5 minutes. It killed me! So I learned form that. But when I hit 4 and I got them in preschool, I just counted the seconds until it was over. Then when I got older punishments became no TV fora certain amount of time, and it's grown to radio and computer now. Also deductions from my allowance.
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The beuatiful mind/The beautiful heart/Doesn't deserve the pain/How can I stop the rain? -How Can I Stop the Rain? by Kessid, my new favorite band +Every good thing that comes into my life is only a reflection of the greatest gift of all; the offering of yourself, dear Son of God+ Always remember, you're uniqe, just like everybody else! "The one constant through all the years has been the Trombone. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again, but the Trombone has marked the time. This field, this section, this band is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again. Oh, people will come . . . people will most definitely come." |
08-11-2002, 04:43 PM | #39 | |
Elven Warrior
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08-11-2002, 04:48 PM | #40 |
Elven Warrior
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I think just taking away privelages is a lot more painful.
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