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#1 |
Elven Maiden
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 3,309
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writing excersize: description
This is an idea I stole from another message board somewhere. It is basically a way to practice writing description. The idea is to look at this picture (which I will post) of a room, and describe it in about 100-200 words or so. Use simile, metaphor, adjective and adverbs, whatever. Try to get the look and the mood of the room. Don't try to make it a story; there's no plot, just a setting. I'm curious to see some responses.
http://www.tfme.net/guest/exercise1.jpg |
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#2 |
Domesticated Swing Babe
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Reality
Posts: 5,340
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Don't look at the picture till after you read the descriptions!!!
Ahhh! The guest bedroom! So fresh, so clean! The question that comes to my mind is...."What does it smell like?"
![]() ![]() Or, maybe not! ![]() ![]() Yes, that's it! Everything has just been washed. Breezy, bright and soft, the handsome dark mahogany poster bed waits. Well made and fresh, this quiet bed is ready to welcome human bodies needing to recharge and relax. On the bedside table, the Casa Blanca lily sends a curling trail of perfume over the poster bed hide-away. You just might get a whiff of the flower's musky sweet perfume, as you lay down to read that book. When you finally arrive at your destination, this clean, fresh guest bedroom is the perfect welcome.
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Happy Atheist Go Democrats! Last edited by Lizra : 01-25-2004 at 07:06 PM. |
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#3 | ||
Co-President of Entmoot
Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 8,397
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The photographer worked closely with the Public Relations reprasentative to create the pamphlet for the Metropolitan Hotel. Hundreds of thousands of dollars were invested in the project, and it was the photographer's job to demonstrate the pristine, classy, and comfortable atmosphere of the hotel.
She chose a close-up of a beautiful bed for her shot. Gauzy, white hangings were draped around the perfectly made, comfortable bed. It was graced with a dark, charcoal purple quilt whose smooth softness invited the weary business traveller to relax. The subtle, creamy pink walls accented the dark quilt and white sheets and hangings. A friendly oak dresser was behind the bed, with a partially concealed vase of white lilies. The photographer had spent an hour with the lighting crew. The window was not in the picture, but it was letting the perfect amount of natural light which accented the artificial lighting. The white in the setting was glowing. The photographer took advantage of the moment and quickly snapped three rolls of film at various angles. One of these pictures would describe the ideal setting of the Metropolitan Hotel, inviting travellers from all over the world.
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"I can add some more, if you'd like it. Calling your Chief Names, Wishing to Punch his Pimply Face, and Thinking you Shirriffs look a lot of Tom-fools." - Sam Gamgee, p. 340, Return of the King Quote:
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#4 |
Elven Maiden
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 3,309
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Nice, Nurvingiel, but I kind of said don't involve a plot. But that's ok.
![]() Lizra, when I read your post, this phrase came to mind: "excitable little fellow". ![]() |
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#5 | ||
Co-President of Entmoot
Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 8,397
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Yeah, I liked your post Lizra. I feel welcome.
![]() You can have events without having a plot, but I admit I was pushing it a bit.
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"I can add some more, if you'd like it. Calling your Chief Names, Wishing to Punch his Pimply Face, and Thinking you Shirriffs look a lot of Tom-fools." - Sam Gamgee, p. 340, Return of the King Quote:
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#6 |
Domesticated Swing Babe
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Reality
Posts: 5,340
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I'm an excitable little fellow??!
![]() ![]() I like to write non fiction, of any kind. ![]()
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Happy Atheist Go Democrats! |
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#7 |
Hobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Middle-earth!
Posts: 19
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Nimbrennil's Bad Description
Mae Govannen,
Okay, good, I'm going to try... No one has posted for some time, but I would still like to try to describe this room... I am going to make a "kind-of" plot, but I will try to keep from entering any persons into my post... The wind blew gently into the room, stirring the tulle curtains that surrounded the bed... The violet comforters were soft and plush, covering the bed in lush layers. The pillows, both white and plum, looked cool to the eye, propped up against the sleek mahogany wood of the headboard. A wooden table stood beside the bed, holding an glossy ivory pitcher filled with fair lilies, lilies that cast a fragrance over the room. A light also stood on the bedside table, a dark one with a white shade, shedding pale light on the room. The window was open, a breeze wafted gently through, and the sun shone brightly across the way. Well, that's all, folks.... I tried but it stinks and I think I'll leave because I'm really embarassed of my description... *SIGH* ... Namarie, -Nimbrennil |
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#8 | ||
Fowl Administrator
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Calgary or Edmonton, Canada
Posts: 53,420
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Quote:
I'll take a stab at it. Quote:
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All of IronParrot's posts are guaranteed to be 100% intelligent and/or sarcastic, comprising no genetically modified content and tested on no cute furry little animals unless the SPCA is looking elsewhere. If you observe a failure to uphold this warranty, please contact a forum administrator immediately to receive a full refund on your Entmoot registration. Blog: Nick's Café Canadien |
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#9 |
The Intermittent One
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: here and there
Posts: 4,671
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Re: writing excersize: description
http://www.tfme.net/guest/exercise1.jpg
What a beautiful room, it must smell like lavender on a spring morning. The bed, fit for a queen, with drapes of purest silk, and coverlets of softest cotton, as soft as the grass in the meadow, it is the cleanest room, as clean as a new morning, and as fresh as the spring sunshine. It is as warm as summer, and as cold as winter, with the crisp of a cold autumnal night. I notice the vase, with the flowers, an essence of life, taken and preserved, a view to the world, or a snapshot in time. How one yearns to have such a room, to lie, unabated and free, and to wake next to the one you love, on a lazy sunday morning. Or to have one who would bring you breakfast, as you were roused gently from your slumber, half a grapefruit, two croissants, freshly squeezed orange juice, and fresh, steaming coffee. The smell that would greet you, the essence of Columbia in a cup, the sweetness of the tropics on a plate, 2 crescents of French joy, buttered and baked, and a glass of pure sunshine. How's that for a description? |
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#10 |
Hobbit
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Athgar, Tower of Darkness
Posts: 21
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Description eh? Well, here goes.
He walked briskly into the dim lit saloon. Men of all sorts starred upon his granduer. None could ever beat him, and only he had tamed the fairest and brutest beast in all the land. He was dressed in leather of some unknown sort, and had a cloak woven of silk wrapped about him. Upon it's linings were letters, an scripts in the fashion of his people. His people whom not even he knew. His pants were torn all about, with mended patches. He had run out on his long journeys, and in harsh times the patches were leaves. Boots, black and dirty were laden upon his feet. One toe stuck out of his left boot. All the people in the saloon knew the man's name. He was Fred. I don't have a word count but that seems reasonable.
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Teacher just called me young man? |
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#11 |
The Intermittent One
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: here and there
Posts: 4,671
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very good, azhag-nuur,
but it doesn't describe the room very well as is the point of this exercise... ![]() |
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#12 |
Elven Maiden
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 3,309
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My thoughts exactly...oh well...
Everyone else, good job! I am so excited that your descriptions ar eso creative! ![]() ![]() |
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#13 | |
The Intermittent One
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: here and there
Posts: 4,671
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Quote:
and have you heard the song 'Mental Maelstrom' by Mortiis? i notice you like that word!! ![]() |
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#14 |
Elven Maiden
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 3,309
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Of course I liked it! But alas, no, I've never even heard of that band. Are they good? What kind of music is it? (Boy, that's a lot of M's!)
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#15 | |
The Intermittent One
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: here and there
Posts: 4,671
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Quote:
and he is excellent, sort of an electro version of sisters of mercy |
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#16 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Slow down and I sail on the river, slow down and I walk to the hill
Posts: 2,389
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Crumpled papers, riddled with corrections and scribbled handwriting, litter the lake gray carpet of the room. Ah, a writer lives here. The shiny glint of CDs also grace the floor, like an odd species of water-lily. Antique furniture stands grandly, out of place in the small room, almost threatening, if it weren't draped with colorful clothing and nearly covered in photographs and drawings. The frozen figures in the snapshots smile eternally to the stark, painfully bare walls. The comforting sight of a messy sea of blue sheets and blankets contrasts these walls. Books also inhabit this area, obviously well loved and tenderly dog-eared, sitting eagerly and waiting for their turn to be read again (and again). The angular desk in the corner is softened with even more books and papers, as well as a collection of rubber balls, all colors found nowhere in nature. A menagerie of glass dolphins live happily at the top of this desk appear so friendly that one wonders what they chat about when no one is there. The open window lets in a summer breeze, and it brings in a hint of the smell of freshly mowed grass. A creaky door, garnished with even more photographs, shuts at a particularly strong gust of wind.
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“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell |
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#17 |
Her Infernal Majesty
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,188
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The light poured softly through the thin glass of the window, as a slight breeze made the soft linen curtains float as they were carried on the gentle wind. A soft fragrance filled the room. Fragrances of the sweetest lilies with almost instantly heighten the senses and the tranquillity of the room, a reminder of the sweetest and purest summers. The smooth and flowing drape flowed softly in time to the breeze, delicately settling back into place around the relaxing and restful bed. The silk based linen soft and smooth to the touch. Colours of dark plum and wine. The soft light, creating a harmonious and almost musical touch to the bedroom. A bedroom that every woman would be satisfied with. A bedroom no man would forget or disregard.
Okay, it's not the best I can do. But there it is.
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"It is a good viewpoint to see the world as a dream. When you have something like a nightmare, you will wake up and tell yourself that it was only a dream. It is said that the world we live in is not a bit different from this." - Yamamoto Tsunetomo |
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#18 |
Hobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Middle-earth!
Posts: 19
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Suilad,
Thanks, Iron Parrot. ![]() Actually, I like everyone's descriptions (?)! Very nice, ya'll. Namárië (at least 'til later...), -Nimbrennil
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But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Eowyn I am, Eomund's daughter. You stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him. --Eowyn, RotK I do not wish to play at riddles. Speak plainer! --Eowyn, RotK |
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#19 |
Lady of Letters
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Either Oxford or Kent, England
Posts: 2,476
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Obviously no one has ever lived in this room. This bed has seen no pain. At the very most it has experienced the passing dramas of travellers: of unwilling exiles, who barely look at their surroundings if those surroundings are not home; of honeymooners, who think all life will be as clean and perfect as these sheets; of business men, with more to do than enjoy the fall of white light through a white curtain. But an owner, a possessor, this room has surely never known. Such plump pillows never bore the deep press of one head for many nights, were never forced flat by nightly suffering. The lily never droops; the light never goes out. Someone tidies this room up, every morning. It has nothing more.
Oh well, I tried ![]()
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And all the time the waves, the waves, the waves Chase, intersect and flatten on the sand As they have done for centuries, as they will For centuries to come, when not a soul Is left to picnic on the blazing rocks, When England is not England, when mankind Has blown himself to pieces. Still the sea, Consolingly disastrous, will return While the strange starfish, hugely magnified, Waits in the jewelled basin of a pool. |
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#20 |
Thief Queen of Entmoot
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: oh, I just wander around, aimlessly...
Posts: 1,060
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well, here goes
![]() ![]() the breeze floats through the room, ruffling the curtains as it makes its way inside.it dances across the plush quilt, lavender and comfy. the quilt itself is fairly new; the breeze can tell this from its crisp lines and clean scent. the sheets are new also, though they've seen slightly more use than it's sister, the comforter. their dazzling whitness is comforting to its occupants, who enjoy the fragrance the dryer cloths leave in its threads. the Breeze tumbles off the bed and lands gently on the soft carpet, and makes its way up to the bed-side table. the table is a strong one, made of oak and stained a rich cherry. the lilies resting there are fresh, haven't even had time to droop out of need for water. having sated its curiosity, the little breeze goes once more around the bed, impressive in its size and classic style, brushing by the curtains so whimsically draped about the bed, and disappears back out the open window.
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*smooch* Proud Member of the Evil Mooters and upstanding citizen of the Planet Bob! And all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be... My Space! Cynicism is what happens when a person opens their eyes; stops blinking in the sun, and starts wondering "why". Question everything, believe only that which you yourself deem true. Go ahead- Call me cynical. |
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