Spanking kids yeah or nay

[afro-elf]

Spanking kids yeah or nay?

What's your thougts.

[Sween]

If used correctally then yes. I myself was spanked as a child but it was rare it was only when i really messed up and was naughty and ill tell you what it didnt half enforce what i had done was wrong.

If a perents going to abuse there kid they are gonna do it know what i mean i dont think spanking bad at all when used correctally.

[Artanis]

Nay! I think hitting a child is both cruel and unnecessary. For the child it is painful and humiliating and frightening, and most children being spanked have not the faintest idea of why. It does not develop their conscience, only their fear. It teaches them that using violence is a proper way of controlling other people.

Luckily there is a law against physical abuse of children in Norway. Still there are kids suffering here as well. Children are totally loyal to their parents and tend to hide their unhappiness, even to themselves. How can they not! They are completely dependent of their parents' affection and love, so they put the guilt and shame upon themselves.

Some sites to visit:
Never hit a child
Spanking: A shortcut to nowhere
The latter also offers good advice for bringing up children without spanking them.

So all you friends, how is it in your countries? Is it legal to slap children where you live?

[Arathorn]

Being someone who survived spanking with very little emotional scars, I would be biased towards it and say yeah.

However, it would be better if there were a spanking machine calibrated and certified by a world-wide spanker's standards committee. Spanking will require practitioners to apply for a license where they are only allowed spank using the machine calibrated at least every year. A formal report covering a week is to be filed with the committee with the following data:

1. Dates and times of sessions
2. Settings used (pat, slap, ouch, wah, etc)
3. Child's Name
4. Child's Offense
5. Child's age
6. Child's Gender
7. Parent's Name
8. Parent's Age
7. Parent's Offense
8. Witnesses
9. Spanking License number
10. Spanking machine Make, Brand, Serial no.
11. Spanker's medication taken within 36 hrs

Some rules:
a. The child will have to be informed of his /her offense before the session.

b. Witnesses will have to present

c. The Severity setting will have to follow a prescribed plan approved by the standards committe depending on offense and no. of repeat offenses.

If found guilty of non-compliance with the spanking rules which are yet to be revised, the parent will have to undergo a spanking session by a representative of the spanking committee with the child as one of the witnesses.


Sorry, it's the first time in weeks since I had a lull from so much work

[galadriel88]

A definite yea - I certainly learned my lessons as a child! Sween is right. Spanking is not child abuse! It is merely discipline. Artanis - of course it hurts! That's the point. But - not to an extreme. It's not like anybody's getting out a whip and giving the child big red welt marks for nothing. And I knew what I was getting spanked for! My parents gave me a warning - they told me what I was not supposed to do, and what the punishment would be (in terms I could understand). And if I disobeyed, the result was the afore mentioned punishment, which oftentimes was spanking. If parents don't discipline their kids, they will never learn that there are consequences for their actions and that there is authority over them. And for htose of you who believe I will quote form the Bible - "Train up a child in the way he sould go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

[afro-elf]

I was spanked VERY rarely. But when I was, I couldn't complain. The rules were laid out. I had to repeat them. So, when I did mess up really bad I was S.O.L. because I knew I blew it.


As Arathorn

Being someone who survived spanking with very little emotional scars, I would be biased towards it and say yeah

As G88 ( I'll reframe from Star Warsb Jokes)

Spanking is not child abuse! It is merely discipline

Artanis I'll check out your links in a second or so.

In America ,I THINK it depends on what state you live in if you can spank or not.

[Artanis]

Originally posted by galadriel88
If parents don't discipline their kids, they will never learn that there are consequences for their actions and that there is authority over them.

I have never been spanked but I consider myself a well-behaved grown-up all the same. I certainly know my actions have consequences, for both myself and other people. My parents didn't punish me, instead they talked to me, telling me what I've done was wrong and why, and the effect on myself and others.

I know spanking is quite common in other countries, in Europe as well. In Norway spanking isn't acceptable behaviour. I will never spank my own children. There are other ways.

afro-elf, what do you mean by S.O.L?

[afro-elf]

Artanis

Those are two VERY poorly written articles. It's even worse that the second is written by a psychologist.

The articles start of begging the question. That is simply a logical fallacy.

Not only that they continue in their faulty logic/ research by equating child abuse with spanking. And quoting unrepresentive samples of a population to cover the whole.

They say prisoners were ABUSED and spanked and thus they became prisoners.

What about those that were spanked and NOT abused who go on to lead successful lives.

Sween, G88, Arathorn and myself seem to fit this latter niche.

I'm sorry but IMO those are very poor articles and show again IMO the sad state of the current anti-intellectual trend in education.

[Lizra]

Kids were spanked regularly when I was coming up, the sight of a man's belt still makes me a little nervous! I have swatted my son a few times cause he was just totally defiing (sp?) me. But I didn't like doing it. He was crushed. A few spanks early on might eliminate a lot of bad behavior later! I was a very good girl, cause I didn't want to get ten with the belt. It eliminated a lot of yelling and other abuse. Nipped in the bud! I get sick of yelling or arguing with my headstong son, so I see the logic of a swift and strong punishment sometimes. I just love him so much, I can't do it!

[Rána Eressëa]

When I was spanked as a child it only made me angry and upset and violent. When my parents just talked to me in an evil voice, though, and gave me that "don't you friggin' do that again" look, I was a good kid. There was a time when I was abused, so this is probably why I completely hate the idea of smacking or spanking children. I don't think it helps myself. Because of the spanking too, I kinda grew up to be violent. I'm constantly smacking my brothers (on the arm, upper back, or back of head) when they don't do favors for me like hand me my glass or turn off the air, etc. I even smacked my mother a few times when I was eight. So I say no. It made me a b*tch - who says it won't make any kids of mine the same?

[afro-elf]

afro-elf, what do you mean by S.O.L?

It means Sh*t out of luck.

Also it may have to do with the general psyche of Scandinavia.

I've been there are had several friends from the region. In country that is ( was) homogenious with a small population its easier to affect change in a grand scale because its relatively a big group of the same people. Thus the socical pressure is strong to be the same. ( by Swedish friend said that latter part)

[afro-elf]

Also, genetic disposition has a role to play in a person psyche.

[eowyn144]

I was spanked as a child and I can't see how it did me any good. I never really learnt anything from it. It just seemed to me at the time that hitting people was ok to get what you want and now that i've grown up a bit I can't help but think that that is not the right message to be giving to young children.
I had a quite a hard time of it, emotionally and physically. On one side I had my dad who would hit me (sometimes quite hard) and I would run upstairs crying with a big red mark. Then a few seconds later, my mum would come up, hug me and tell me that he shouldn't have done that. I was in the middle not knowing what to believe-wether i deserved it or wether my father was in the wrong.

So to sum it up, spanking, in my opinion is not right. If you can't control your children without using physical violence, then maybe you were not cut out for being a parent in the first place.

[afro-elf]

See my previous quote. One can not just pass the blame SOLELY on the parents.

[Artanis]

Originally posted by afro-elf
They say prisoners were ABUSED and spanked and thus they became prisoners.

Not quite. It said that prisoners often had experienced violence against themselves as children, and it dind't help them to avoid being imprisoned. This is also my main argument against spanking, it just isn't necessary.

What about those that were spanked and NOT abused who go on to lead successful lives.

Sween, G88, Arathorn and myself seem to fit this latter niche.[/B]

So you do. Of course not all that are spanked end up with miserable lives. But quite a few does end up having problems.

I agree partly of what you and tour friend say about the Scandinavian psyche. I don't think we are or have been that homgenious, but the social pressure have been and still is strong in smaller places. People care about each other, but they also control each other. Not like that in Oslo. Happy me.

[Rána Eressëa]

Parents have one of the biggest roles in shaping a kid's way of thought, however. For some children, they would realize every time they did a certain thing, they got hurt, so they wouldn't do it. Other kids would see it as intimidation and would use the tactics as well right back onto others to get the same effect. I happened to be the latter. So, all in all, spanking has a 50/50 chance of working - which makes it best to FIRST use forceful talking. And if the talking and evil looks don't do it - just smack 'em.

Anything genetic just traces right back to the parents, though, A-E. So technically, it's still their fault (though most likely not intentionally their fault).

[afro-elf]

So, all in all, spanking has a 50/50 chance of working - which makes it best to FIRST use forceful talking. And if the talking and evil looks don't do it - just smack 'em.

yeap

Anything genetic just traces right back to the parents, though, A-E. So technically, it's still their fault (though most likely not intentionally their fault).

{ Sigh}

[Starr Polish]

I was spanked as a child, though not often, and just hard enough to sting for a few seconds. I was far more afraid of my father's glare (it can be quite menacing), but my mother was usually the one who spanked me.
We had rules in the house, and though they weren't written, I knew them. I also knew what would happen if I got caught breaking them.
Example: My first spanking was because I picked up my live cat by the tail and brought her to my mom. I was spanked AND scratched
I think spanking is perfectly ethical if the child knows what they did wrong/why they are being punished, and if it leaves absolutely no mark and is done only with the hand. I am not emotionally scarred from being spanked, and I could be a rather unruly child.
Also, I would much rather see a child be spanked on the bottom then slapped in the face. I've been punished both ways, and the spanking was much less traumatic.

[afro-elf]

I also want to add that I think spanking a child EVERY time it does something is foolish.

[StrawberryIcecream]

If a woman throws a mood, say, and refuses to do her chores in the house, her partner is not allowwed to smack her. If he does it is abuse. How precisely it is different smacking a child for refusing to do their bed in the morning after throwing a tantrum. (presuming this small child knows how to tidy his bed)

If anything, its worse. Like eowyn said, they wont learn much from it.

I was never smacked. Some may say 'well look how SHE turned out' in a nice "witty" comment, but belive me having a disappointed parent who is just quiet around you for a while is a hell of a lot worse than one that smacks you and carries on.