Wild Tech Support Questions

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Taken from an article in this morning's Montreal Gazette... Of course, they didn't put this one on their web site, so I have to type in the highlights.

*"How come my coffee-holder's not working?" Luckily there's a short answer to this one: Honey that's no coffee holder; it's a CD-ROM caddy.

*"Where's the 'any' button?" is another frequently asked question. This comes form computer users stumped by the command, "Press any button."

*A woman phones to complain her pedal isn't working. Turns out the caller-- more experienced on a sewing machine than on a computer-- has put her mouse on the floor and is attempting to operate it with her foot.

*A caller who's been instructed to "use the mouse to move the cursor," doesn't understand why nothing's happening. After all, he's holding the mouse up so that it touches the display screen.

*Then there's the gentleman who's asked by the operator whether his computer can "see" his printer-- a common technical term used to verify that a terminal and printer are properly hooked up. "Of course, I just turned the terminal so it could face the printer," the exasperated caller replies.

*An office worker phoned a help line complaining that the print on her document was so pale it was impossible to read. As the technician prepared to go through the troubleshooting steps, the customer suddenly realized she was looking on the wrong side of the paper-- the printing was on the other side.

*An elderly customer calls to say his computer's not working, there's nothing on the screen. The technician asks him to check that the plugs are properly connected. "I can't," says the man. "The room is dark--I didin't tell you there's a blackout."

*A customer was asked by the operator to click on some boxes. The customer said there were no boxes. It turned out that the customer had set the colours so that the background and the foregroung were indistinguishable.


Now I don't feel like such a technical moron...

:rollin: :lol: :lol: :lol: :rollin:

:lol:

Thanks for sharing.

:lol: :lol:
Any key...thats from Simpsons:

Computer : PRESS ANY KEY
Homer : Hmm...there's CTRL, PgUp, ESC...I dont see any ANY key! Ooh...I think I'll have a TAB (puts cup by dick drive and presses TAB) Too late! It's starting!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Jeez, at least I don't feel like such an idiot anymore either.

You want wild tech support questions, go to Rinkworks: Computer Stupidities. They're all there, among other things.

:rollin: :rollin: :rollin:

[Snowdog]

Tech Support: 'Tex Ford, how may I abuse you?
Customer: "Hi Tex, I need to move my cursor to the right of my screen but my mouse is at the edge of my mousepad."
Tech Support: 'Have you tried re-booting without saving your files?'
Customer: "yes, many times."
Tech Support: 'Have you tried moving your desk?'
Customer: "Just a minute..."
Tech Support: *hears noise of desk moving in the background*
Customer: "It didn't work."
Tech Support: 'You need to buy our $800.00 mousepad upgrade....'

(Kudos to Dilbert)

[Sheeana]

Dogbert rules.

[Snowdog]

Yes he does! I have that particular strip on my wall here at work.
I had to add the 'Tex Ford' bit. one of the guys here says 'Tech support' so fast some customers think he says 'Tex Ford'.

[gdl96]

old school dude

btw, thrawn96 was me.

[cee2lee2]

Too funny! I especially liked the ones about the blackout, the sewing machine mouse pedal, and the CD-ROM cupholder.