The Important Questions

Ñólendil · 08-18-2004, 11:20 PM

Hello all, I just thought I'd make a valid contribution to the board for a change, as lately I've just been making bad jokes. I thought I'd start by making a list of all the important Tolkien questions that haven't been asked before. Maybe it will start a good worth-while Middle-earth discussion, maybe not, we'll see.

1. What would Bernie from Weekend at Bernie's do if he got the One Ring? What sort of evil anthem would play in his head as he walked into the ocean with the mermaid chick?

2. Who is better, King Kong or Valandil (the Entmoot member, not the character)? And why do you think so? Keep in mind this is an intellectual discussion.

3. Who's more irritating, Orlando Bloom, or the fans he stole from the Backstreet Boys?

4. What's your favorite inanimate object from "Shadow of the Past"? Make sure you read eachother's posts and appreciate other people's opinions, that's what this discussion is all about.

5. If Tom Bombadil isn't Santa Claus, then who is?

6. We've all heard the Legolas's hair-color debates. What about his pants? What brand of Elvenware did he prefer?

7. Four Harfoots go to the barber. Three of the Harfoots have lice in their beards, and they want their beards combed. What are the odds [hint: percentage] other customers who came later will get the lice from the combs used?

8. Let's say you think what-if questions are worthwhile ... insert punchline here.

9. What if you were a resident of Middle-earth?

10. If a former bitter administrator posts a bunch of mostly inside-jokes on his favorite message board, and no one is there to get them, is it funny?

Thanks for reading The Important Questions. You've been dooped.

***Valandil*** · 08-19-2004, 07:17 AM

My, my... YOU were on an odd kick yesterday!

I've just made a bad joke or two myself, so I'm not inclined to just close this right out (although if any OTHER admin or mod would like...

).

Meanwhile, I'd love to hear the discussion for item #2...

Lizra · 08-19-2004, 07:51 AM

Those questions are SO important, I'll think I'll just mosey on over to another thread.

Well, actually, I think the fans he stole from the Backstreet Boys are more iritating....

brownjenkins · 08-19-2004, 09:32 AM

king kong got a date with fay wray... big points in my book... but val's a bit more articulate... guess it's a toss-up

BeardofPants · 08-19-2004, 02:45 PM

I can tell you what Leggie's pants colours were, but I'm not gonna (trade secrets and all).

***Fat middle*** · 08-19-2004, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ñólendil

7. Four Harfoots go to the barber. Three of the Harfoots have lice in their beards, and they want their beards combed. What are the odds [hint: percentage] other customers who came later will get the lice from the combs used?

Hey, I know that: it's 0%

or rather it's a wrong problem because...

... it should be Harfeet

Haradrim · 08-20-2004, 12:31 AM

AH now theres a question. Harfoots or Harfeet. I have to go with Harfoots because its a name and not an object so you would just add an s to the end.

Ñólendil · 08-20-2004, 11:36 PM

Fat Middle, actually, it's a trick question. Harfoots don't grow beards. So double doop on you.

Haradrim · 08-21-2004, 01:42 AM

Nolendil I think Fat Middle said 0% meaning they dont have beards. But if I am wrong Fat Middle please correct me.

Lefty Scaevola · 08-21-2004, 07:51 AM

If one prefers a higher level of discussion on Tolken, would the rational course of action would be to find or create site exculsively for those more erudite in the topic, rather than futilly pouring sarcasm and derision upon an open to all forum?

***Fat middle*** · 08-22-2004, 05:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haradrim

Nolendil I think Fat Middle said 0% meaning they dont have beards. But if I am wrong Fat Middle please correct me.

You're correct. The Harfeet thing was only an added joke

... but yet an important question

Attalus · 08-26-2004, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ñólendil

Fat Middle, actually, it's a trick question. Harfoots don't grow beards. So double doop on you.

Got that one. :P

Haradrim · 08-26-2004, 05:23 PM

Well it looks like the dignity of the the thred diminished when I started posting.

oh well....!

08-18-2004, 11:20 PM	#1
Ñólendil Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: California Posts: 60,865	The Important Questions Hello all, I just thought I'd make a valid contribution to the board for a change, as lately I've just been making bad jokes. I thought I'd start by making a list of all the important Tolkien questions that haven't been asked before. Maybe it will start a good worth-while Middle-earth discussion, maybe not, we'll see. 1. What would Bernie from Weekend at Bernie's do if he got the One Ring? What sort of evil anthem would play in his head as he walked into the ocean with the mermaid chick? 2. Who is better, King Kong or Valandil (the Entmoot member, not the character)? And why do you think so? Keep in mind this is an intellectual discussion. 3. Who's more irritating, Orlando Bloom, or the fans he stole from the Backstreet Boys? 4. What's your favorite inanimate object from "Shadow of the Past"? Make sure you read eachother's posts and appreciate other people's opinions, that's what this discussion is all about. 5. If Tom Bombadil isn't Santa Claus, then who is? 6. We've all heard the Legolas's hair-color debates. What about his pants? What brand of Elvenware did he prefer? 7. Four Harfoots go to the barber. Three of the Harfoots have lice in their beards, and they want their beards combed. What are the odds [hint: percentage] other customers who came later will get the lice from the combs used? 8. Let's say you think what-if questions are worthwhile ... insert punchline here. 9. What if you were a resident of Middle-earth? 10. If a former bitter administrator posts a bunch of mostly inside-jokes on his favorite message board, and no one is there to get them, is it funny? Thanks for reading The Important Questions. You've been dooped. __________________ Falmon -- Dylan Last edited by Ñólendil : 08-18-2004 at 11:23 PM.

08-19-2004, 07:51 AM	#3
Lizra Domesticated Swing Babe Join Date: May 2002 Location: Reality Posts: 5,340	Those questions are SO important, I'll think I'll just mosey on over to another thread. Well, actually, I think the fans he stole from the Backstreet Boys are more iritating.... __________________ Happy Atheist Go Democrats!

08-19-2004, 09:32 AM	#4
brownjenkins Advocatus Diaboli Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Reality Posts: 3,767	king kong got a date with fay wray... big points in my book... but val's a bit more articulate... guess it's a toss-up __________________ Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever.

08-19-2004, 02:45 PM	#5
BeardofPants the Shrike Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: San Francisco, CA <3 Posts: 10,647	I can tell you what Leggie's pants colours were, but I'm not gonna (trade secrets and all). __________________ "Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords

08-20-2004, 12:31 AM	#7
Haradrim The Official Court Jester of the Entmoot Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Far Harad Posts: 1,006	AH now theres a question. Harfoots or Harfeet. I have to go with Harfoots because its a name and not an object so you would just add an s to the end. __________________ A Bit More Grown Up This Time...

08-19-2004, 07:17 AM	#2
*Valandil* High King at Annuminas Administrator Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Wyoming - USA Posts: 10,752	My, my... YOU were on an odd kick yesterday! I've just made a bad joke or two myself, so I'm not inclined to just close this right out (although if any OTHER admin or mod would like... ). Meanwhile, I'd love to hear the discussion for item #2... __________________ My Fanfic: Letters of Firiel Tales of Nolduryon Visitors Come to Court Ñ á ë ?* ó ú é ä ï ö Ö ñ É Þ ð ß ® ™ [Xurl=Xhttp://entmoot.tolkientrail.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=ABCXYZ#postABCXYZ]text[/Xurl] Splitting Threads is SUCH Hard Work!!

08-20-2004, 11:36 PM	#8
Ñólendil Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: California Posts: 60,865	Fat Middle, actually, it's a trick question. Harfoots don't grow beards. So double doop on you. __________________ Falmon -- Dylan

08-21-2004, 01:42 AM	#9
Haradrim The Official Court Jester of the Entmoot Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Far Harad Posts: 1,006	Nolendil I think Fat Middle said 0% meaning they dont have beards. But if I am wrong Fat Middle please correct me. __________________ A Bit More Grown Up This Time...

08-21-2004, 07:51 AM	#10
Lefty Scaevola AngAdan Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Boerne, Texas Posts: 856	If one prefers a higher level of discussion on Tolken, would the rational course of action would be to find or create site exculsively for those more erudite in the topic, rather than futilly pouring sarcasm and derision upon an open to all forum? __________________ Gaius Mucius Scaevola Older, richer, and wiser than you "Mighty are the Ainur, and mightiest among them is Melkor, but that he may know, and all the Ainur, that I am Iluvatar, those things that ye have sung, I will show them forth, ... And thou, Melkor, shalt see that no theme may be played that hath not its uttermost source in me,"

08-26-2004, 05:23 PM	#13
Haradrim The Official Court Jester of the Entmoot Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Far Harad Posts: 1,006	Well it looks like the dignity of the the thred diminished when I started posting. oh well....! __________________ A Bit More Grown Up This Time...

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