Attraction - Looks, Manners Or Only Pheromones?

Grey_Wolf · 02-04-2004, 03:32 PM

What say ye?.

I think it's about two-thirds Pheromones.

Twista · 02-04-2004, 04:07 PM

9/10 looks.

lol - Its shallow but lets face it what everything it at first based on.

Dúnedain · 02-04-2004, 05:22 PM

Well, I think initially attraction is on looks, but after that then it's all personality. Anyone who says looks has nothing to do with it is a liar. We are all physically attracted to people in different ways and in different looks of people, but that is the initial thing that makes someone make the approach (unless you have beer goggles on

). I will say though, for me personality is huge, so if I go out with a model, but she is a moron, then 99.9% of the time it won't go anywhere (anywhere serious that is

)...

Snowdog · 12-09-2004, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dúnedain

Well, I think initially attraction is on looks, but after that then it's all personality. Anyone who says looks has nothing to do with it is a liar. We are all physically attracted to people in different ways and in different looks of people, but that is the initial thing that makes someone make the approach (unless you have beer goggles on

).

"Beer Goggles"

Quote:

I will say though, for me personality is huge, so if I go out with a model, but she is a moron, then 99.9% of the time it won't go anywhere (anywhere serious that is

)...

Um... bed could be serious....

Personality and character are important and goes a long way ... but a nice pair of legs helps!

Starr Polish · 12-09-2004, 12:35 PM

Short term: Definitely, most definitely, looks.

Long (or attempt at) term: Personality more than anything. If I fell in love with the most attractive man on the planet, attempted a long term relationship with him, and found out he was a misogynist, racist pig, I don't think I'd be staying there very long.

Snowdog · 12-09-2004, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Starr Polish

Short term: Definitely, most definitely, looks.

Long (or attempt at) term: Personality more than anything. If I fell in love with the most attractive man on the planet, attempted a long term relationship with him, and found out he was a misogynist, racist pig, I don't think I'd be staying there very long.

Which leads to question how one could 'fall in love' purely on looks alone doesn't it?

Hasty Ent · 12-09-2004, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snowdog

Which leads to question how one could 'fall in love' purely on looks alone doesn't it?

Looks definitely play a part in initial attraction, with personality and intelligence determining how long lasting that attraction is. My recent experience though, has shown the reverse. I currently find myself attracted to someone because I feel a powerful connection to his wit and good nature.

I've become involved with someone over the past year that I meant online. We didn't exchange photos until over a month after we had been corresponding. The attraction I felt from the start was based on shared political views. As the friendship grew, it was fed by a respect for his intelligence and warm heart. When I did see his photo it wasn't what I expected (are they ever?

) but it didn't sway my feelings for him. Because I already cared for him, he looked gorgeous to me.... since it is in the eye of the beholder, isn't it? and emotional attachment colors my vision to a large degree.

I've never fallen in love purely on looks alone, and question anyone who claims to -- fallen in lust, definitely.... but not in love.

Starr Polish · 12-14-2004, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snowdog

Which leads to question how one could 'fall in love' purely on looks alone doesn't it?

Being in love/falling in love and loving someone are different things.

Insidious Rex · 02-04-2004, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dúnedain
Well, I think initially attraction is on looks, but after that then it's all personality. Anyone who says looks has nothing to do with it is a liar. We are all physically attracted to people in different ways and in different looks of people, but that is the initial thing that makes someone make the approach (unless you have beer goggles on ). I will say though, for me personality is huge, so if I go out with a model, but she is a moron, then 99.9% of the time it won't go anywhere (anywhere serious that is )...

agreed. looks get us in the door for better or for worse. but its the meshing of personalities that make things really work. thats how nature planned it after all. as for pheromones, there are no conclusive studies showing any particular molecule that causes attraction or lust in humans. we dont operate like many animals in this way. but im sure theres still something subtle going on there. and smell IS the most powerful sense so a particular smell (not necessarily a pheromone) can be associated with a feeling of lust or desire and therefor reinforce attraction.

***Valandil*** · 02-04-2004, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Insidious Rex
agreed. looks get us in the door for better or for worse. but its the meshing of personalities that make things really work. thats how nature planned it after all. as for pheromones, there are no conclusive studies showing any particular molecule that causes attraction or lust in humans. we dont operate like many animals in this way. but im sure theres still something subtle going on there. and smell IS the most powerful sense so a particular smell (not necessarily a pheromone) can be associated with a feeling of lust or desire and therefor reinforce attraction.

On the other hand, smell CAN be a big turn-off!

Dúnedain · 02-04-2004, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Valandil
On the other hand, smell CAN be a big turn-off!

No doubt *passes Valandil some deordorant*

Sminty_Smeagol · 02-04-2004, 06:40 PM

I guess for me initial attraction is based on looks, in a way. How else are you supposed to know anything about a person before I even meet them? But the only reason for that is because I'm turned off to people easily just from seeing characteristics that reflect a personality that I'm not attracted to. Like I would have a hard time being attracted to a guy with a 'six pack', tans, big muscles/use of muscle-shirts, or any other characteristics or behavior that are probably intentional for attracting people in superficial ways. I mean, that just kind of displays insecurity and superficialness to me, if they want to make their body to impress people, they might also do that with their personality or their actions you know? A superficial way to attract people, and most people who use it are probably pretty shallow as well. If the only way you can get a girl to like you is because of your muscles, or if you would actually want a girl who only liked you for your muscles, or because you act 'cool', you might be a little lacking in the areas that are important to me.

I can be initially attracted to people upon seeing them... sight is the first time you notice them and start forming an opinion of them, before pheromones or personality or anything because you can see someone before you actually talk to them or be near them. But just because someone looks attractive to me doesn't make me want to go talk to them, although visual expression in clothing and jewelry and such could show an interesting character... I guess the look I am most attracted to is kind of tall, a little lanky, dark eyes or icy blue, dark shaggy hair... nice. But once I get to know people, there are beautiful people and there is everyone else (beautiful people as in... beautiful character, beautiful personality, beautiful mind heh). I would need to be attracted to a guy on a mental level before I would really consider myself as 'liking' them.

And after all of this preaching, I will admit that I do have my limits when it comes to sexual attraction. No matter how beautiful a person they are, there are limits in my ugly factor tolerance...

But thats me.

BeardofPants · 02-04-2004, 06:51 PM

Humans have a sucky sense of smell, which is just as well, or we'd be pissing everywhere....

Ruinel · 02-04-2004, 08:36 PM

I went out with a guy that was a body builder once at the same time I was going out with his friend, who was just a 'normal' guy. I went out with the body builder twice, the last time to give him a second chance. He had the personality of a head of cabbage (not even cooked cabbage, mind you!). The other guy was fun, made me laugh and was sincere. Needless to say, I ended up going out with the 'normal' guy for quite a while before he freaked me out with a proposal!

(No, I didn't marry him, if you were wondering.) So, for me... I don't think its looks so much as it's how we interact.

Sexiness is not just looks... it's how you make a girl feel.

EDIT: One comment on 'smell', I used to have a bf that wore a particular cologne that used to drive me wild.

I can't remember what it was... Ralph Lauren of something... just made me melt into a puddle.

aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh

Lefty Scaevola · 02-04-2004, 10:11 PM

Part of it is simply timing, all humans are cyclical in their propenisity to be attracted.

Insidious Rex · 02-04-2004, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BeardofPants
Humans have a sucky sense of smell, which is just as well, or we'd be pissing everywhere....

actually smell is by far the most powerful sense psychologically.

***HOBBIT*** · 02-04-2004, 11:42 PM

I don't think it has much to do with natural human pheromones.

In our society, people clean themselves so their natural body odors go away. They even mask them more with horrible new scents.

I for one am definitely NOT attracted to anyone because of their perfume. Perfume to me either doesn't bother me (and i don't like it either) or it annoys me and bothers me.

Ruinel · 02-05-2004, 12:06 AM

Also, if you eat too much of certain plants or meat it comes out in your pores... and you have a specific smell because of it... a good example is garlic. I was shopping the other day in a store and a woman was behind me at another rack and she reeked of garlic. My roommate, who was shopping with me at the time, had to walk away.

BeardofPants · 02-05-2004, 01:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Insidious Rex
actually smell is by far the most powerful sense psychologically.

I meant as compared to other species of primate, knucklehead. I mean, it's not quite up there with lemurs...

Baby-K · 02-05-2004, 02:38 AM

Our sense of hearing on the other hand is pretty accurate, though I have to admit, I often choose not to use this sense.

As for smells, thank ye gods it's not that great! I'd probably be bent over a toilet kotching my lungs out from morning to night as a result of the abundance of cheap colognes permeating the air.

(Ruinel - one cologne that drives me wild is Hugo Boss Baldesserini...............can't stand Dior's Fahrenheit - makes me feel ill 'cos it smells like rotten mangoes IMO)

02-04-2004, 03:32 PM	#1
Grey_Wolf Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mirkwood, well actually I live in North-west Scania, Sweden Posts: 9,481	Attraction - Looks, Manners Or Only Pheromones? What say ye?. I think it's about two-thirds Pheromones.

02-04-2004, 04:07 PM	#2
Twista Orodruin's Flame Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Kananaskis, AB Posts: 1,194	9/10 looks. lol - Its shallow but lets face it what everything it at first based on. __________________ Council of Entmoot - Foreign Affairs Minister - 2004-05 Visit the Ye Olde Avatar Shop and The New One Dont tell me what I cannot do Two men are on a Island, they both see a "monster", one sees a bright light, and the other sees a dark cloud My name bares no reference to the music artist.

02-04-2004, 05:22 PM	#3
Dúnedain High King of Númenórë Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Númenórë <--United States of America Posts: 1,947	Well, I think initially attraction is on looks, but after that then it's all personality. Anyone who says looks has nothing to do with it is a liar. We are all physically attracted to people in different ways and in different looks of people, but that is the initial thing that makes someone make the approach (unless you have beer goggles on ). I will say though, for me personality is huge, so if I go out with a model, but she is a moron, then 99.9% of the time it won't go anywhere (anywhere serious that is )... __________________ 'Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien. Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' Ambar-metta!' - And those were the words that Elendil spoke when he came up out of the Sea on the wings of the wind: 'Out of the Great Sea to Middle-earth I am come. In this place will I abide, and my heirs, unto the ending of the world.' 'Then Tuor arrayed himself in the hauberk, and set the helm upon his head, and he girt himself with the sword; black were sheath and belt with clasps of silver. Thus armed he went forth from Turgon's hall, and stood upon the high terraces of Taras in the red light of the sun. None were there to see him, as he gazed westward, gleaming in silver and gold, and he knew not that in that hour he appeared as one of the Mighty of the West, and fit to be father of the kings of the Kings of Men beyond the Sea, as it was indeed his doom to be; but in the taking of those arms a change came upon Tuor son of Huor, and his heart grew great within him. And as he stepped down from the doors the swans did him reverence, and plucking each a great feather from their wings they proffered them to him, laying their long necks upon the stone before his feet; and he took the seven feathers and set them in the crest of his helm, and straightway the swans arose and flew north in the sunset, and Tuor saw them no more.' -Of Tuor and his Coming to Gondolin "Oh. Forgive me, fairest of all males of Entmoot...Back down, all ye other wannabe fairest males! Dunedain is the fairest!" --Linaewen

12-09-2004, 12:35 PM	#5
Starr Polish Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Slow down and I sail on the river, slow down and I walk to the hill Posts: 2,389	Short term: Definitely, most definitely, looks. Long (or attempt at) term: Personality more than anything. If I fell in love with the most attractive man on the planet, attempted a long term relationship with him, and found out he was a misogynist, racist pig, I don't think I'd be staying there very long. __________________ “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell

02-04-2004, 06:40 PM	#12
Sminty_Smeagol Manic Cardboard-Box Dweller Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: In a house Posts: 1,071	I guess for me initial attraction is based on looks, in a way. How else are you supposed to know anything about a person before I even meet them? But the only reason for that is because I'm turned off to people easily just from seeing characteristics that reflect a personality that I'm not attracted to. Like I would have a hard time being attracted to a guy with a 'six pack', tans, big muscles/use of muscle-shirts, or any other characteristics or behavior that are probably intentional for attracting people in superficial ways. I mean, that just kind of displays insecurity and superficialness to me, if they want to make their body to impress people, they might also do that with their personality or their actions you know? A superficial way to attract people, and most people who use it are probably pretty shallow as well. If the only way you can get a girl to like you is because of your muscles, or if you would actually want a girl who only liked you for your muscles, or because you act 'cool', you might be a little lacking in the areas that are important to me. I can be initially attracted to people upon seeing them... sight is the first time you notice them and start forming an opinion of them, before pheromones or personality or anything because you can see someone before you actually talk to them or be near them. But just because someone looks attractive to me doesn't make me want to go talk to them, although visual expression in clothing and jewelry and such could show an interesting character... I guess the look I am most attracted to is kind of tall, a little lanky, dark eyes or icy blue, dark shaggy hair... nice. But once I get to know people, there are beautiful people and there is everyone else (beautiful people as in... beautiful character, beautiful personality, beautiful mind heh). I would need to be attracted to a guy on a mental level before I would really consider myself as 'liking' them. And after all of this preaching, I will admit that I do have my limits when it comes to sexual attraction. No matter how beautiful a person they are, there are limits in my ugly factor tolerance... But thats me. __________________ I love the fishes. Last edited by Sminty_Smeagol : 02-04-2004 at 06:48 PM.

02-04-2004, 06:51 PM	#13
BeardofPants the Shrike Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: San Francisco, CA <3 Posts: 10,647	Humans have a sucky sense of smell, which is just as well, or we'd be pissing everywhere.... __________________ "Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords

02-04-2004, 08:36 PM	#14
Ruinel Banned Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: I have no idea. Posts: 5,441	I went out with a guy that was a body builder once at the same time I was going out with his friend, who was just a 'normal' guy. I went out with the body builder twice, the last time to give him a second chance. He had the personality of a head of cabbage (not even cooked cabbage, mind you!). The other guy was fun, made me laugh and was sincere. Needless to say, I ended up going out with the 'normal' guy for quite a while before he freaked me out with a proposal! (No, I didn't marry him, if you were wondering.) So, for me... I don't think its looks so much as it's how we interact. Sexiness is not just looks... it's how you make a girl feel. EDIT: One comment on 'smell', I used to have a bf that wore a particular cologne that used to drive me wild. I can't remember what it was... Ralph Lauren of something... just made me melt into a puddle. aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh Last edited by Ruinel : 02-04-2004 at 08:37 PM.

02-04-2004, 10:11 PM	#15
Lefty Scaevola AngAdan Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Boerne, Texas Posts: 856	Part of it is simply timing, all humans are cyclical in their propenisity to be attracted.

02-04-2004, 11:42 PM	#17
*HOBBIT* Saviour of Entmoot Admiral Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: NC/NJ (no longer Same place as bmilder.) Posts: 61,986	I don't think it has much to do with natural human pheromones. In our society, people clean themselves so their natural body odors go away. They even mask them more with horrible new scents. I for one am definitely NOT attracted to anyone because of their perfume. Perfume to me either doesn't bother me (and i don't like it either) or it annoys me and bothers me. __________________ President Emeritus (2000-2004) Private message (or email) me if you need any assistance. I am here to help! "I'm up to here with cool, ok? I'm so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis" - Zaphod Beeblebrox Latest Blog Post: Just Quit Facebook? No One Cares!

02-05-2004, 12:06 AM	#18
Ruinel Banned Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: I have no idea. Posts: 5,441	Also, if you eat too much of certain plants or meat it comes out in your pores... and you have a specific smell because of it... a good example is garlic. I was shopping the other day in a store and a woman was behind me at another rack and she reeked of garlic. My roommate, who was shopping with me at the time, had to walk away.

02-05-2004, 02:38 AM	#20
Baby-K Corruptor Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Jozi SA Posts: 1,885	Our sense of hearing on the other hand is pretty accurate, though I have to admit, I often choose not to use this sense. As for smells, thank ye gods it's not that great! I'd probably be bent over a toilet kotching my lungs out from morning to night as a result of the abundance of cheap colognes permeating the air. (Ruinel - one cologne that drives me wild is Hugo Boss Baldesserini...............can't stand Dior's Fahrenheit - makes me feel ill 'cos it smells like rotten mangoes IMO)

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