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09-23-2005, 09:36 PM | #1 |
Hobbit
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Georgia
Posts: 23
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Comments on my poems plz
i would appreciate any comments on these poems!!!
Suicidal Rose Sees the sky Prays to die Or to see Another way free Holds the knife Says bye to life Beside a rose bud Soiled with blood A small cry No way to lie Time to die Just say bye Take the rose Hold it close Think of me I'll be free Nothing's Wrong Nothing's wrong But nothing's right In this night I don't belong Dwelling on fears Left to cry And wonder why I'm still here Let myself fall All are gone Left all alone None to call Can't leave behing What's been done Nowhere to run No peace to find
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09-24-2005, 02:38 AM | #2 |
The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: N?n in Eilph (Belgium)
Posts: 14,363
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I like the rhythm. But they're very ...dark, are they not?
I always wonder why half of the poetry people post here is so depressed. Welcome to the Entmoot, by the way.
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09-24-2005, 06:08 AM | #3 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: here and there
Posts: 3,514
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do they follow on one from the other?
I hope sincerely they are not biographical. yes, dark, good rhythm ... emotionally evocative ... hope they help your spirit if it's down just now? Liked them Squirrel! there is always peace to find! *winks at Earniel here on unrelated matter* and you can find it! ... there are always sunny days, bright new dawns and little natural things that can refresh the spirit un-looked for. hope dawns as bright and fresh as the grey shrouds of despair and angst can loom ... it can be around any corner and if nothing else is all the more beautiful after dark times. how can we know pleasure or joy without pain, fear and sadness? best BB |
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