The Hidden: Discussion

Curubethion · 10-17-2007, 01:22 AM

Okay, so this is something I'm currently working on in between classes and papers and whatnot, a serial of sorts. Anyway, let me know what you think...

The Hidden

And be warned, there's plots aplenty to be found here.

(GRR!!! How did I get caught by the 90 second rule?? No way that wasn't 90 seconds!)

Nautipus · 10-17-2007, 11:01 AM

Wow, that really grabbed my attention. This first post was very artistic, and seems to lay out a neat little....what's the word......I dont know. But it's cool.

Acalewia · 10-17-2007, 05:03 PM

Oh wow., Great hook. Glad to see you back, even if it's temperary. Keep the posts coming. You got my attention

Curubethion · 10-18-2007, 11:04 PM

Thanks! Episode 2 is up, I should be getting one up each week.

Acalewia · 10-19-2007, 12:25 PM

And it looks like America is going to hell in a hand basket

I like how you jump from person to person, kinda telling enough of their story to grab your attention. Nice

Curubethion · 10-21-2007, 08:13 PM

America is indeed in a bit of...insecurity. Always fun. Just you wait...

And I really do like doing the different viewpoints, it's kinda like a TV show in a way. It's fun. And it gets good next episode...

Curubethion · 12-01-2007, 01:33 PM

College be letting up a little on the workload, so there's Episode 6, in the story thread!

Acalewia · 12-03-2007, 02:29 PM

Wow! There's cathloc priests still around in this world? nice surprise. What's with Troy? And who is the E-mail from?

Curubethion · 12-03-2007, 09:39 PM

Yes, a nice surprise. Just one that kinda occurred to me. The way characters were coming along, it just seemed to make sense. And as for your next two questions...well, that's to be answered...in the future.

Acalewia · 12-04-2007, 02:17 PM

You better answer them or I'm gonna hunt you down

strider8 · 12-06-2007, 04:18 PM

Wow ,that was great. Keep up the good work

Curubethion · 02-03-2008, 05:02 AM

Finally, here's the next episode, number 7! And some things happen...

Acalewia · 02-07-2008, 09:25 PM

That was whoa!

Who got shot? And who shot Troy? Gah! More questions!

I love it

strider8 · 02-10-2008, 10:02 AM

Wow, Write some more, put it on Entmoot, keep everybody happy

Curubethion · 02-10-2008, 05:25 PM

Haha, I'm working on it. College takes up a bit of my time.

Curubethion · 03-18-2008, 12:29 AM

Hey, guess who's got Episode 8 up?

Acalewia · 03-19-2008, 09:05 PM

Nice. Very nice. keep it up

Curubethion · 05-01-2008, 04:08 PM

There we go, Episode 9!

Willow Oran · 05-01-2008, 07:06 PM

The jumping from character to character does remind me of 'Heroes' which isn't a bad thing, but such a fragmented format makes it a little difficult for the reader to orient themself and stay focused on the story, and it makes it unclear what the actual story is...

If you plan to do more with these, I might suggest experimenting with revising them as a scripts for a T.V series or a graphic novel because your style would probably lend itself well to being paired with a visual component.

Curubethion · 05-01-2008, 10:48 PM

Ay, thanks for the comment.

10-17-2007, 01:22 AM	#1
Curubethion Fenway Ranger, Lord of Red Sox Nation Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: College! Posts: 1,976	The Hidden: Discussion Okay, so this is something I'm currently working on in between classes and papers and whatnot, a serial of sorts. Anyway, let me know what you think... The Hidden And be warned, there's plots aplenty to be found here. (GRR!!! How did I get caught by the 90 second rule?? No way that wasn't 90 seconds!) __________________ Adventure...betrayal...heroism... Atharon: where heroes are born. My wife once said to me—when I'd been writing for ten or fifteen years—that I could always go back to being a nuclear engineer. And I said to her, 'Harriet, would you let someone who quit his job to go write fantasy anywhere near your nuclear reactor? I wouldn't!' (Robert Jordan) Last edited by Curubethion : 11-10-2007 at 02:24 PM.

10-17-2007, 11:01 AM	#2
Nautipus Kraken King Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Under the sea Posts: 2,714	Wow, that really grabbed my attention. This first post was very artistic, and seems to lay out a neat little....what's the word......I dont know. But it's cool. __________________ Being the King of these Beings, This is my Child One of my top ten favorite movies. "You ever try to flick a fly? "No." "It's a waste of time." "Can you see it?" "No." "It's right there!" "Where? "There!" "What is it?" "A crab." "A crab? I dont see any crab." "How?! It's right there!!" "Where?" "There!!!!" "Oh." -Excerpts from A Tale of Two Morons One of the best Global Warming Messages out there

10-17-2007, 05:03 PM	#3
Acalewia Halfelven Daughter of the Dunedain, President of Entmoot Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: In trouble. As usual. Posts: 4,674	Oh wow., Great hook. Glad to see you back, even if it's temperary. Keep the posts coming. You got my attention __________________ "Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. "Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera

10-18-2007, 11:04 PM	#4
Curubethion Fenway Ranger, Lord of Red Sox Nation Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: College! Posts: 1,976	Thanks! Episode 2 is up, I should be getting one up each week. __________________ Adventure...betrayal...heroism... Atharon: where heroes are born. My wife once said to me—when I'd been writing for ten or fifteen years—that I could always go back to being a nuclear engineer. And I said to her, 'Harriet, would you let someone who quit his job to go write fantasy anywhere near your nuclear reactor? I wouldn't!' (Robert Jordan)

10-19-2007, 12:25 PM	#5
Acalewia Halfelven Daughter of the Dunedain, President of Entmoot Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: In trouble. As usual. Posts: 4,674	And it looks like America is going to hell in a hand basket I like how you jump from person to person, kinda telling enough of their story to grab your attention. Nice __________________ "Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. "Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera

10-21-2007, 08:13 PM	#6
Curubethion Fenway Ranger, Lord of Red Sox Nation Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: College! Posts: 1,976	America is indeed in a bit of...insecurity. Always fun. Just you wait... And I really do like doing the different viewpoints, it's kinda like a TV show in a way. It's fun. And it gets good next episode... __________________ Adventure...betrayal...heroism... Atharon: where heroes are born. My wife once said to me—when I'd been writing for ten or fifteen years—that I could always go back to being a nuclear engineer. And I said to her, 'Harriet, would you let someone who quit his job to go write fantasy anywhere near your nuclear reactor? I wouldn't!' (Robert Jordan)

12-01-2007, 01:33 PM	#7
Curubethion Fenway Ranger, Lord of Red Sox Nation Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: College! Posts: 1,976	College be letting up a little on the workload, so there's Episode 6, in the story thread! __________________ Adventure...betrayal...heroism... Atharon: where heroes are born. My wife once said to me—when I'd been writing for ten or fifteen years—that I could always go back to being a nuclear engineer. And I said to her, 'Harriet, would you let someone who quit his job to go write fantasy anywhere near your nuclear reactor? I wouldn't!' (Robert Jordan)

12-03-2007, 02:29 PM	#8
Acalewia Halfelven Daughter of the Dunedain, President of Entmoot Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: In trouble. As usual. Posts: 4,674	Wow! There's cathloc priests still around in this world? nice surprise. What's with Troy? And who is the E-mail from? __________________ "Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. "Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera

12-03-2007, 09:39 PM	#9
Curubethion Fenway Ranger, Lord of Red Sox Nation Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: College! Posts: 1,976	Yes, a nice surprise. Just one that kinda occurred to me. The way characters were coming along, it just seemed to make sense. And as for your next two questions...well, that's to be answered...in the future. __________________ Adventure...betrayal...heroism... Atharon: where heroes are born. My wife once said to me—when I'd been writing for ten or fifteen years—that I could always go back to being a nuclear engineer. And I said to her, 'Harriet, would you let someone who quit his job to go write fantasy anywhere near your nuclear reactor? I wouldn't!' (Robert Jordan)

12-04-2007, 02:17 PM	#10
Acalewia Halfelven Daughter of the Dunedain, President of Entmoot Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: In trouble. As usual. Posts: 4,674	You better answer them or I'm gonna hunt you down __________________ "Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. "Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera

12-06-2007, 04:18 PM	#11
strider8 Elven Warrior Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: In a spaceship, floating in your puny planet's atmosphere, awaiting orders to invade Posts: 292	Wow ,that was great. Keep up the good work __________________ The axes hewed Forlong as he fought alone and unhorsed; and both Duilin of Morthond and his brother were trampled to death when they assailed the mumakil,leading their bowmen close to shoot at the eyes of the monsters. Neither Hirluin the fair would return to Pinnath Gelin, nor Grimbold to Grimslade, nor Halbarad to the northlands,dour-handed Ranger. Those that would not return home, page830-831, The Battle of the Pelennor Fields, The Return of the King

02-03-2008, 05:02 AM	#12
Curubethion Fenway Ranger, Lord of Red Sox Nation Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: College! Posts: 1,976	Finally, here's the next episode, number 7! And some things happen... __________________ Adventure...betrayal...heroism... Atharon: where heroes are born. My wife once said to me—when I'd been writing for ten or fifteen years—that I could always go back to being a nuclear engineer. And I said to her, 'Harriet, would you let someone who quit his job to go write fantasy anywhere near your nuclear reactor? I wouldn't!' (Robert Jordan)

02-07-2008, 09:25 PM	#13
Acalewia Halfelven Daughter of the Dunedain, President of Entmoot Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: In trouble. As usual. Posts: 4,674	That was whoa! Who got shot? And who shot Troy? Gah! More questions! I love it __________________ "Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. "Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera

02-10-2008, 10:02 AM	#14
strider8 Elven Warrior Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: In a spaceship, floating in your puny planet's atmosphere, awaiting orders to invade Posts: 292	Wow, Write some more, put it on Entmoot, keep everybody happy __________________ The axes hewed Forlong as he fought alone and unhorsed; and both Duilin of Morthond and his brother were trampled to death when they assailed the mumakil,leading their bowmen close to shoot at the eyes of the monsters. Neither Hirluin the fair would return to Pinnath Gelin, nor Grimbold to Grimslade, nor Halbarad to the northlands,dour-handed Ranger. Those that would not return home, page830-831, The Battle of the Pelennor Fields, The Return of the King

02-10-2008, 05:25 PM	#15
Curubethion Fenway Ranger, Lord of Red Sox Nation Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: College! Posts: 1,976	Haha, I'm working on it. College takes up a bit of my time. __________________ Adventure...betrayal...heroism... Atharon: where heroes are born. My wife once said to me—when I'd been writing for ten or fifteen years—that I could always go back to being a nuclear engineer. And I said to her, 'Harriet, would you let someone who quit his job to go write fantasy anywhere near your nuclear reactor? I wouldn't!' (Robert Jordan)

03-18-2008, 12:29 AM	#16
Curubethion Fenway Ranger, Lord of Red Sox Nation Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: College! Posts: 1,976	Hey, guess who's got Episode 8 up? __________________ Adventure...betrayal...heroism... Atharon: where heroes are born. My wife once said to me—when I'd been writing for ten or fifteen years—that I could always go back to being a nuclear engineer. And I said to her, 'Harriet, would you let someone who quit his job to go write fantasy anywhere near your nuclear reactor? I wouldn't!' (Robert Jordan)

03-19-2008, 09:05 PM	#17
Acalewia Halfelven Daughter of the Dunedain, President of Entmoot Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: In trouble. As usual. Posts: 4,674	Nice. Very nice. keep it up __________________ "Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. "Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera

05-01-2008, 04:08 PM	#18
Curubethion Fenway Ranger, Lord of Red Sox Nation Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: College! Posts: 1,976	There we go, Episode 9! __________________ Adventure...betrayal...heroism... Atharon: where heroes are born. My wife once said to me—when I'd been writing for ten or fifteen years—that I could always go back to being a nuclear engineer. And I said to her, 'Harriet, would you let someone who quit his job to go write fantasy anywhere near your nuclear reactor? I wouldn't!' (Robert Jordan)

05-01-2008, 07:06 PM	#19
Willow Oran Deus Ex Machina Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Seattle Posts: 1,951	The jumping from character to character does remind me of 'Heroes' which isn't a bad thing, but such a fragmented format makes it a little difficult for the reader to orient themself and stay focused on the story, and it makes it unclear what the actual story is... If you plan to do more with these, I might suggest experimenting with revising them as a scripts for a T.V series or a graphic novel because your style would probably lend itself well to being paired with a visual component. __________________ "5. Plain Rings with RUNES on the inside. Avoid these like the PLAGUE. -Diana Wynne Jones Tough Guide To FantasyLand ...it's not much of a show if somebody doesn't suffer, and preferably at length. Suffering is beautiful in any case, and so is anguish; but as for loathing, and bitterness... I don't think they belong on the stage at all. - Isabella, I Gelosi

05-01-2008, 10:48 PM	#20
Curubethion Fenway Ranger, Lord of Red Sox Nation Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: College! Posts: 1,976	Ay, thanks for the comment. __________________ Adventure...betrayal...heroism... Atharon: where heroes are born. My wife once said to me—when I'd been writing for ten or fifteen years—that I could always go back to being a nuclear engineer. And I said to her, 'Harriet, would you let someone who quit his job to go write fantasy anywhere near your nuclear reactor? I wouldn't!' (Robert Jordan)

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