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Old 02-21-2006, 09:05 PM   #1
trolls' bane
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The Facts of Life--101 Things You Might Notice

1. Your bus always pulls away just before your crosswalk changes.
2. The next bus is supposed to come in ten minutes. It doesn't get there for another hour.
3. You find that while you were waiting, you dropped a nickel. The bus driver won't let you on and leaves you in the dust.
4. It's summer. You're sick.
5. It's Christmas. You're sick.
6. It's New Years. Just getting over your cold.
7. People lie about you being a liar, and everyone else beleives them and teams up against you.
8. You do all the work. Your partner takes the credit and says you did nothing.
9. Someone ruins the ending for the book, because they just have to tell you now that they've seen that you are reading it.
10. Someone who already saw the movie keeps telling you what happens, and while they are ruining it for you, you miss important lines.
11. Your car is fine. That is, until you're eighty miles from the nearest town.
12. The people who are stupid enough to drive across the railroad tracks survive. All of their passengers and the engineer in the train are crushed to death.
13. You get teased about being stupid in the middle of a (apparently) one-way conversation about something that everyone should know and the people you are talking to don't.
14. You have seniority. A newbie gets a promotion.
15. Dish out some justice and get punished.
16. Give the love of your life and fiance a very rare, extremely costly Persian gold signet ring, and then find out less than a day later he cheated on you, several times, with the girl who was your closest friend. Owned! Lose both ring and true love, not to mention faith in the goodness of humanity for a while.
17. When looking for something you need, you cant find it. When you don't need something its right in front of you and in the way.
18. The man on your dreams already has a girlfriend.
19. They include a spoon with the ice cream you bought when you`re taking it home, and not when you`re going on a picnic.
20. The word you decide not to look up in the dictionary is wrong; the one you did look up you were right about in the first place.
21. Food allergies.
22. Sometimes it seems like some people are allergic to everything, or everyone is allergic to the type of pet you have. "I'm sorry, I can't visit because you have a cat." (Not you, Bomb.)
23. You try to please others, and you feel that they either don't really care or somehow they let you down. Others try to please you, and you either find you don't care, or you somehow let them down. You can never win!
24. Lose your inheritance beacuse your parents left all their expensive antique jewelry to you, but leave it in a drawer without any lock and key so some relative of yours can steal it all, then go the the pawn shop and hawk 500k worth of stuff for 2k. When they see it missing, you are immediately to blame.
25. You decide to load a game demo on your PC, 1) your computer crashes when the load is at 98% 2) once you have the demo loaded you find out your computer is too old and does not meet graphics shader capabilities.
26. You buy something from a gas station and are three cents short and, although you always put change in it, theres no pennies in the tray and have to run back out to your car to get 3 pennies.
27. You buy something from a gas station and are three cents short. You don't have a car to get pennies from, there is no tray, and you're bus is right outside. You end up leaving the gas station and oweing them three cents, or you leave with nothing.
28. You're on dial up but try to download a SP. It takes 6 hrs. and says complete but when you click install, it goes through 40 min of trying and then says "failed".
29. Your toast lands with the buttered side down.
30. You stumble in the dark to find your lamp and when you go to turn it on the bulb blows leaving you completly blinded and still in the dark.
31. You lose something, so you go out and buy another one of what you lost. Then, after you bought it, you find the thing you lost.
32. When you really need to talk to someone on the phone, their line is busy or the power goes out.
33. Power outages always happen during your favorite TV show, but never when shows you hate are on.
34. You run out of something you really need. Hurriedly buy some more, even though it's high-prized. Next day, it's on a 30% discount.
35. You're watching a movie intently, and during the few seconds that you're not paying attention, something important happens.
36. You go to check out (or buy) a book at the library (or book store) or rent a movie, but they don't have the movie or book you want. As for the book in the book store, you travelled clear accross town for them to say that they will not have it until tomorrow, or they have it at another store.
37. You go to the store to get something, and there's only one of that item left. Then, when you're reaching for it, someone else takes it.
38. It's New Year's Eve, and you're really excited about staying up. Then, you fall asleep a few minutes before midnight.
39. You buy gas, then the next day gas prices drop twenty cents, but by the time you NEED gas again its raised back up to what it was before.
40. Your car doesn't need gas, until you're far away from a gas station.
41. You're going skiing, and the one time that you leave the chains for your tires at home, you need them. Then you can't go skiing because you're not allowed to go on the roads without chains.
42. The stop light turns red just before your car reaches it.
43. The street crossing sign turns from 'walk' to 'don't walk' just before you start crossing the street.

EDIT: More later. Anyone else have any for me?
EDIT 2: Hereafter, renders previous edit void. But not in this case. Would just like to add that I'm reserving number 101 for myself.
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Last edited by trolls' bane : 04-17-2006 at 08:21 PM.
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Old 02-21-2006, 09:24 PM   #2
Lotesse
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#14 will plague every one of us at some level here and there throughout real life, I guarantee it. The older you get, and the more seniority in any given area you rack up, the more it bites when some flashy newbie gets promoted right out from under your hard-working veteran ass. Life is like that. I think Murphy's Law covers a lot of what you're describing here, Trolls' Bane.
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Old 02-21-2006, 09:30 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lotesse
#14 will plague every one of us at some level here and there throughout real life, I guarantee it. The older you get, and the more seniority in any given area you rack up, the more it bites when some flashy newbie gets promoted right out from under your hard-working veteran ass. Life is like that. I think Murphy's Law covers a lot of what you're describing here, Trolls' Bane.
Oh it does. But it's not just a law. It's a set of laws. I think it should stand between Newton's Laws and Kepler's Laws somewhere.
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Old 02-22-2006, 12:13 AM   #4
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15. Dish out some justice and get punished. I hate that.
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Old 02-22-2006, 12:18 AM   #5
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16. Give the love of your life and fiance a very rare, extremely costly Persian gold signet ring, and then find out less than a day later he cheated on you, several times, with the girl who was your closest friend. Owned! Lose both ring and true love, not to mention faith in the goodness of humanity for a while. True story.
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Old 02-22-2006, 12:53 AM   #6
trolls' bane
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Okay, those two will now be added.
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Old 02-23-2006, 07:56 PM   #7
trolls' bane
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Oh. Okay. I left it anyway.
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Old 02-26-2006, 07:41 AM   #8
Farimir Captain of Gondor
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you buy something from a gas station and are three cents short and, although you always put change in it, theres no pennies in the tray and have to run back out to your car to get 3 pennies. this seems to happen to me alot.
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Old 03-04-2006, 07:50 PM   #9
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You're on dial up but try to download a SP. It takes 6 hrs. and says complete but when you click install, it goes through 40 min of trying and then says "failed".
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Old 04-03-2006, 07:45 PM   #10
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Thank you!
Um...No comment! *looks around hurriedly and walks away whistling*
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Old 04-09-2006, 10:22 PM   #11
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42. The stop light turns red just before your car reaches it.
43. The street crossing sign turns from 'walk' to 'don't walk' just before you start crossing the street.
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Monk: 95%...

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Old 04-17-2006, 01:58 AM   #12
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Arrr...I hate #14, because its accurate.
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Old 03-21-2008, 10:59 AM   #13
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#44. You get in all the classes you want, then the school loses some paperwork and you lose them all, only for the school to find the paperwork afterwards. (true story)
#45.You find some pants in your closet, try 'em on, love 'em, only to find out they are your friend's.
#46. They one time you are gonna be late for a far away class, you pull onto the highway in front of a cop.
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"You ever try to flick a fly?
"No."
"It's a waste of time."

"Can you see it?"
"No."
"It's right there!"
"Where?
"There!"
"What is it?"
"A crab."
"A crab? I dont see any crab."
"How?! It's right there!!"
"Where?"
"There!!!!"
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Old 03-21-2008, 10:54 PM   #14
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OOoooooh....Dont even get me started on #46....
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You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
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Old 03-22-2008, 11:31 PM   #15
Thain Peregrin Took I
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Wow... This thread's been revived. I almost forgot about it. Lol.

47. You find a shirt in a clearance rack. It fits perfectly, and it's totally adorable. When you get to the register, it turns out that it wasn't on clearance and it's mega expensive, and someone had just put it on the clearance rack by accident (or on purpose, if they're evil... )
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Monk: I'm 100% sure that she probably killed him.
Stottlemeyer: What does that mean?
Monk: 95%...

I feel like Pepé Le Pew when he look up "pew" in the dictionary. *French accent* Le pew? Moi? Noo. -Shawn Spencer

*British accent* It's a bobble head Bobbie! *head bob* -Special Agen Seely Booth
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Old 03-22-2008, 11:41 PM   #16
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Don't the things on the clearance rack normally have price tags on them?
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Old 03-24-2008, 01:22 AM   #17
Thain Peregrin Took I
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeardofPants View Post
Don't the things on the clearance rack normally have price tags on them?
Usually, but sometimes it will be like "50% off marked price" and then it will have a little sign that shows what the new prices would be, or there will be a sign that says "$3" or something, and the thing that you pick out looks similar to the other things on the rack, so you just don't bother to look at the price.
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Here we were trying to take Rommel, when who do we kidnap but Admiral Todley himself. What? Hahahaha. That wasn't the plan you know. - Col. Crittendon

Monk: I'm 100% sure that she probably killed him.
Stottlemeyer: What does that mean?
Monk: 95%...

I feel like Pepé Le Pew when he look up "pew" in the dictionary. *French accent* Le pew? Moi? Noo. -Shawn Spencer

*British accent* It's a bobble head Bobbie! *head bob* -Special Agen Seely Booth
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Old 05-13-2008, 12:16 AM   #18
trolls' bane
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thain Peregrin Took I View Post
Wow... This thread's been revived. I almost forgot about it. Lol.

47. You find a shirt in a clearance rack. It fits perfectly, and it's totally adorable. When you get to the register, it turns out that it wasn't on clearance and it's mega expensive, and someone had just put it on the clearance rack by accident (or on purpose, if they're evil... )
Haha! I didn't even recognize it.

48. You open your own, recently revived thread and, not recognizing it, say to yourself "My, what a strange thread."
49. The one time you key up your radio transmitter and the transmission actually hits the repeater, you're just testing and have no time to talk.
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