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09-13-2019, 12:04 PM | #1 |
Salt Miner
Join Date: Jun 2005
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Sauron Sues Frodo Baggins
Frodo Baggins convicted of trespass and trespass to chattel and terrorist destruction to property by prosecutors in Mordor courts. Sauron sues [in separate civil action] for return of ring. ...
In the related civil action, Sauron’s attorney (the Mouth of Sauron) puts forward character witnesses against F Baggins alleging (absent objection) that when a young adult, Mr F Baggins stole mushrooms from a stout yeoman farmer from the midlands. Further character witnesses assert that Frodo poorly treated: [1] his servant, eg, Smeagol in a confrontation with foreign terrorists in West Mordor, ultimately leading to Smeagol[’]s death, & [2] migrant workers invited to the Shire by the legitimate political authorities (Sharkey etc). Frodo has yet to open his case. It is expected that he will not deny these facts, & will instead argue that the incidents involving mushrooms & migrants have nothing to do with the political conflict in the south. Smeagol’s death was an unfortunate suicide or casualty of war. No doubt the broadsheets will characterise these defences as overbroad or heartless or un-Shire-like. (Source: https://reformclub.blogspot.com/2019...o-baggins.html |
10-05-2019, 10:44 AM | #2 |
The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2002
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(link doesn't work, removing the ']' at the end ought to work.)
I'm surprised they forgot to include the impersonation as hapless orc workers Mr. Baggins and his accomplice Mr. Gamgee employed to get illegal access to Mordor. And then there is the flaunting of any health and safety regulations when tresspassing into the dangerous zones of Mount Doom... |
10-05-2019, 01:46 PM | #3 |
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