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06-04-2002, 12:12 PM | #1 |
Hobbit
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 17
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They'd never say that!
This is just for a bit of fun, but can be REALLY funny. It's simple, too. All you gotta do is put in a quote that a LoTR character wouldn't say. Here are some of mine:
Sam: Actually, I don't think I will argue this time, Gollum. Help yourself to the Ring and that bitch Frodo, too. Elrond: It is decided, then. The Ring must be destroyed. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast into the fiery chasm from whence it came. Everybody ok with that? (All heads turn to Boromir) Boromir: What? Of course that's alright. This is a Ring embodying the Dark Lord's evil, how can any of us possibly weild it for good? Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Balrog: (Looking over shoulder to orcs) No, but I really think he doesn't want us to cross... you tell him- he's scary! Legolas: Tree? What tree? (Thump) Arwen: If you want him, come and claim him. (Claws out!) Elrond: Break it down funky style! Pippin: Whew! I couldn't eat another bite! Sauron: Does this blouse go with my eye? Sauron: Hey, Gandalf. Why don't we all just forget about this Ring and sail West? Theoden: (On reaching the Pelannor) Oh, there are a few more orcs here than we'd thought. Right, about turn, I'm going home. What? They don't even know we're here- they won't miss us! Aragorn: I never wanted to be the King of all Gondor and Anor. I wanted to be... a lumberjack! Leaping from tree to tree as they floatr down the mighty River Isen! Oh, I'm a lumberjack... Try it, it's great fun!
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...as if struggling with tears. “No, I’ll go home the long road with Mr. Frodo or not at all... |
06-04-2002, 12:27 PM | #2 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Slow down and I sail on the river, slow down and I walk to the hill
Posts: 2,389
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Gimli: (upon being given some mithril) What? This is rubbish! Give me leaves and trees and fresh air any ol' day!
Legolas: Ugh, I hate the beach.
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“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell |
06-04-2002, 12:37 PM | #3 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Tring, Herts, England
Posts: 582
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LOLOLOL!!! Those are funny! Ummm...
Arwen: Actually, Estel, I've been having second thoughts about this whole mortality thing... Merry: Want some Longbottom Leaf? Pippin: Nah, I've given up. Smoking is bad for you, you know!
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Entmoot Resident Bard #2 Wielder of the shiny fire extinguisher Worshipper of the divine cheesecake Hamsters and Rangers everywhere, rejoice!!! Minsc, Baldur's Gate 2 Children, don't take drugs. Become a pop star, then people give them to you for free!!! - Billy Mack, Love Actually. While I'm sure the nice people from the local archery club meant well, a moment's consideration would have made them realise that giving my friend and I lethal weapons was probably not a good idea! Dammit, eyeliner and dreadlocks should not be that sexy! |
06-04-2002, 01:04 PM | #4 |
Númenorean
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,050
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Thingol after Beren asks for Luthiens hand "Sure, I dont mind."
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Why can we not be sober.. |
06-04-2002, 01:05 PM | #5 |
Hoplite Nomad
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 3,931
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the Rohirrim: quick let's eat the horses
Eowyn: Nah, I'll stay home and knit. By the way do these high heeled shoes match my long flowery dress?
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. |
06-04-2002, 01:07 PM | #6 |
Hoplite Nomad
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 3,931
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Feanor: Sure Yannna you can have the Silmarils.
Melkor nah let him be.
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. |
06-04-2002, 01:12 PM | #7 |
Númenorean
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,050
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lol..
Gandalf in Moria.:"A Balrog? Oh screw this! Let me out first!"
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Why can we not be sober.. |
06-04-2002, 01:35 PM | #8 |
The Original Corruptor
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,881
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Legolas: "I like girls."
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06-04-2002, 02:09 PM | #9 |
Enting
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: israel
Posts: 80
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Gandalf: I'll be happy to answer all of your questions.
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O Elbereth! Gilthoniel! We still remember, we who dwell In this far land beneath the trees, thy starlight on the Western Seas. |
06-04-2002, 02:27 PM | #10 | |
Elf Lord
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Tring, Herts, England
Posts: 582
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Quote:
(Although I agree) Eowyn: Grima, I love you.
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Entmoot Resident Bard #2 Wielder of the shiny fire extinguisher Worshipper of the divine cheesecake Hamsters and Rangers everywhere, rejoice!!! Minsc, Baldur's Gate 2 Children, don't take drugs. Become a pop star, then people give them to you for free!!! - Billy Mack, Love Actually. While I'm sure the nice people from the local archery club meant well, a moment's consideration would have made them realise that giving my friend and I lethal weapons was probably not a good idea! Dammit, eyeliner and dreadlocks should not be that sexy! |
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06-04-2002, 02:31 PM | #11 |
The Original Corruptor
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,881
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I'll stand my ground.
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06-04-2002, 02:32 PM | #12 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Israel
Posts: 6,975
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Gullum: Frodo, take my precious, please ...
Frodo: sorry, I son't want it. |
06-04-2002, 02:34 PM | #13 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Slow down and I sail on the river, slow down and I walk to the hill
Posts: 2,389
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::enter rabid fangirl::
Frodo: I'm so glad this ring came to me! Sam: Eek! A bug!
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“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell |
06-04-2002, 03:22 PM | #14 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Israel
Posts: 6,975
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Legolas: Do you want to go to Khazad Dum?
Gimly: No. Why won't we go to Mirkwood? |
06-04-2002, 03:30 PM | #15 |
Swan-buggerer
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: The rainy, grey north
Posts: 69
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Eomer, looking at Arwen : "She is a looker Aragorn - a drinking contest for her hand then?"
Aragorn: "My friend, I was downing flagons of Dorwinion when you were in a manger. Prepare for a bitter defeat!" (guzzles first pint, slams down tankard) Turin: "It's a beautiful life"
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- Lelond, your friendly neighborhood Adan |
06-04-2002, 03:31 PM | #16 |
Númenorean
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,050
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The Mouth of Sauron "Uh, yea Sauron said some stuff like uh. Hm. One sec. Geez i have a bad memory."
Captains of the west just look at each other. "I had that paper somewhere. Ah here it is! Sauron says :Meet me-second floor Barad-dur.. wait thats not the right one." Captains still just stare "Uh, yeah well. He said his Liuetenant gets to stay in isengard. Hey its not me i promise! You can never, hm..what was it..?"
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Why can we not be sober.. Last edited by Tar-Elendil : 06-04-2002 at 03:34 PM. |
06-04-2002, 03:38 PM | #17 |
the Shrike
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: San Francisco, CA <3
Posts: 10,647
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Nienor: I am your sister.
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"Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords |
06-04-2002, 04:21 PM | #18 |
Hoplite Nomad
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 3,931
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Gandalf
You shall not pass GAS I'd prefer to be gandalf the pink ( well maybe ian mckellan might) some call me Tim
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. |
06-04-2002, 04:43 PM | #19 |
Númenorean
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,050
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i think they couldve done better on the casting for the role of gandalf...gandalf being ian mckellan is just strange
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Why can we not be sober.. |
06-04-2002, 04:48 PM | #20 |
Hoplite Nomad
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 3,931
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With ian as gandalf maybe that g rune stands for gay
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. |